New Blog...same website.

I decided when I started college in 2007 I would start a new blog for a new chapter in my life, and I did with only with entry. I have made two since then with a grand total of 3 blog entries in 3 years. :) I am going to try and do more entrys, if any one would like to see the new blog and ways to keep in touch.

http://jyoung4.blogspot.com/

thanks you guys!

Everything You Ever Wanted

This song has so much meaning to it for 2 people actually; one is my dad and the other is a guy also but no names shall be mentioned. :) It just really was what I did for my dad and what happened. So yea Music is me!


Everything You Ever Wanted
by Hawk Nelson
album: Smile, It's the End of the World (2006)
I walk the line, leave it all behind
I've been waiting forever
Let's go back in time when I could read your mind
Still I've been waiting
It took the seasons going by to know it's not my fault
I tried to be perfect
Tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger
Tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you
It's been so long since you've been home
I used to wait up forever
I used to say a prayer, wishing you were there
I'm still waiting
You told me once you'd show up, but I fell for that before
I fell to pieces then I woke up to no one
Just a picture of Jesus and a house left in pieces
It took the seasons going by to know it's not my fault
I tried to be perfect
Tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger
Tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you
I want you, I need you, I want to believe you
I want you, I need you, I want to believe you
I tried to be perfect
Tried to be honest
Tried to be everything but you
I tried to be perfect
Tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger
Tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you
I tried to be perfect
Tried to be honest
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted
I tried to be stronger
Tried to be smarter
Tried to be everything but you

Life seems to be falling in to place with a few free falls.

I graduated a week ago today..:) So exciting, but then again it was so nerve racking. Thankfully it is over. My dad spoke to my dad the day before and well he wasn't coming due to his wife who hates my guts because of what he did 2 me. If you ever really want to know what happened just call me and we will talk about it. It has happened twice in my life by two men that call me their child, and they call themselves my father. Think About it. Well ok that was thursday before I graduated. Monday of that week we had academic awards. I didn't get my B average award, for comlative award or this year. soo When they went to give out Honor sashes, I was given a ribbion instead of an Honor sash. Lets just say that hurt me badly, cuz I worked my butt off for that sash. Well my mom and Mrs. Howe found me one plus every honors graduate so we could all keep them. Which is exciting. Well I got a laptop for graduation, specking of which I am on it. >) Gateway! We willl write later on my new york trip. On the day of graduation..I received TWO scholarships worth about 3,200 together not much but every little helps. :) Well I got 12oo from USAIRWAYS which the sperm donator works for, and I think about 2000 from Woodlawn. sooo some exciting things that way, God works in mirculous ways. Tuesday I had a appt with an oral surgery cuz I am getting my wisdom teeth pulled the 18th of June. I have to have an MRI for my TMJ and well the doc went to put my insurance though and well my dad has booted me off his insurance or so the person on the phone said...to find out later he has requested me to be taken off his insurance and well I have 30 days to get anything medical done so yea..I will write more later..I am really hungary..just PRAY for me. thanks <33

Church is no a building

College??

Lately I have been really busy with college scholarships and witting essays for all these scholarships. I really like to read Proverbs or Galatians a lot. I was reading over a few verses I knew in Proverbs earlier and well one of the verses means a lot to me but never had I read the verses before.

Proverbs 16:1-3 "People may make plans in their minds, but only the Lord can make them come true. You may believe you are doing right, but the Lord will judge your reasons. Depend on the Lord in whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

I have pretty much made my decision for college and that is Gardner-Webb University. I also think I am gonna come home every other weekend. Money is a real big issue tho. I don't want to have to worry about making ends meet at college. I really only want to worry about my grades and spiritual aspects of college. I plan on not dating in my first year of college, i want to focus on getting into my major and then succeeding in that before trying to get a guy. If the guy is worth my time, then God will have him stick around for me. My grades in high school aren't bad but if i would have focused more on school then on the guys I was dating or wanting to date then maybe my GPA would be a little but higher. I will be graduating with honors but I would really would have liked to be in the top 4 people in my class. I am praying right now that God will show me the way he wants me to go. I also am praying that the money for college will be there and that it also won't be a burden to my parents either. I LOVE JESUS and I am so thankful for HIm dying on that cross for my sins.

Look away from yourself. Seek from God what he alone can do for you. Moral improvement of the old you is not what you need. –John Piper

Ok..I am pretty sure no one reads this. I think this weekend was a big awaken to me regarding God's Will for my life. Things happened with Daniel and I this weekend that opened my eyes, and then things at church. I feel like God is screaming at me telling me."You need to figure out who is in charge, me or you?" I want to b a better person but not for any good reason. I should want to be a a better person because Christ commanded that we love our neighbors. I went and looked at the verse in Matthew regarding this and well yea I know I wasn't loving God like I should b but reading that I am not following the greatest commandments given then how can I really follow Jesus. I am a Christian but how can i expect others to want to know more about Christ if I am not completely in love with Him?? I know people at work know I am a Christian and people at school but just in general. I have never saw "Can you believe what God did for me this week?" Am i wrong for not doing that or no I just hide my feelings well.

I need to vent

Alright...Daniel and I are no longer together. i feel like i sorta pushed it this way. I wasn't happy at all, I couldn't look a picture anymore and smile at it like before. I feel like I am a once a month girlfriend maybe.. I like knowing he will b there when I need him the most not so far away. His mother warned us that not dating would b best..did we listen? No, this is the third time we have broken up..maybe she was right..actually I am pretty sure she is right. Well alright, Daniel broke up with me on a Wednesday, and being normal Jennifer thought Thursday I would b happy and just cuz I didn't have to worry about Daniel and I anymore then I would b happy. How Wrong could I be..I was miserable, u think one thing knowing that it will make u happier in the long run, but your still heartbroken in a weird way. I haven't cried much since Daniel left in August, but I think then I prepared myself for the worse. I am gonna miss a lot of things about our relationship. I am gonna miss his family for one thing, I loved his family they were amazing. I want to say kisses and hugs but then I start to think about it and realize our relationship started out with lust. Nothing bad..he just kissed me a long time before we were dating and that is what got us talking, and no i didn't want him to kiss me. Very few people know where this 1st kiss was even though a ton of people were there at the same time. I just wanted instant gratification like society is now a days..I want results instantly like a digital camera. I read something on myspace a little bit ago from a person who i kno for a while didn't like me b cuz his girlfriend didn't like me but she broke up with him recently and I was reading sumthing he wrote which made me cry reading. "You know, sometimes it feels like God isn't there, that he;s stepped all over you and ran as far away as he could. When in reality, it's ourselves who has probably kicked ourselves and forced us to fall. When we want something so bad and hold onto it so tight that we are not willing to let God have his way and we put that thing or person or relationship or item or anything above God, then we will have problems. The human heart is too small for two loves" I started t0 cry reading that.. That is what I did...I cared about my happiness rather than what God wanted me to do. I am still unsure of God's Plan for me right now. I am praying for Him to show me His desire for me and also His Blueprints for my life. Well All i ask is that you pray for me and Daniel. He says he isn't heartbroken but I know for sure he is. I feel bad, I still care about him and I can honestly say I think I loved him. When i talk to him on the phone I can't say I love you anymore..it hurts saying it. I know at one point it felt like love, and hopefully that was what I was feeling but now it feels awkward like an over used phrase. Ok well just PLEASE PRAY!! Thanks a lot!
<3 Jennifer!